Nine and a Half Months to go...

November was a busy month and not busy in terms of wedding planning.

I did fit in a day of shopping for bridesmaids dresses with my maid of honor, matron of honor and junior bridesmaids. We had a lot of fun and narrowed it down to three dresses we all really liked.

I had a hard time deciding between the three. Every time I looked at the photos we took of us trying on the dresses, I came away liking a different dress. Individually, each of the dresses are great, but I wasn't sure how the dresses with a bit more beading would look with six girls wearing them.

We found a junior bridesmaids dress that matches the middle dress and can add the matching brooch as well. When I saw all of the girls lined up wearing the dress with the brooch, I just loved the way they looked together. Simple but elegant. And it is flattering on all body types. That's why I ultimately decided on this dress, (in plum):

 

Next I'll have to start thinking about shoes and accessories, for both me and the girls!

It's exciting now that the details are coming together. I can picture my bridesmaids in their dresses, standing at the alter at our church, and me walking down the aisle in my dress! Nine and a half months to go... !

Wedding Favors

I've been stuck on an idea for wedding favors. Often, wedding favors are impractical and get left behind by guests. My fiance and I agree we'd like favors that are useful or that our guests will be able to enjoy.

I finally found a great idea that both my fiance and I love and I think our guests will love too - personalized pints of apple cider as wedding favors!

My fiance and I love fall, and one of our favorite things about this time of year is fresh apple cider. It's delicious both cold and hot! What better way to share this with our guests than to give out cider as our favors?

We can make our own labels to personalize them. I've already talked to a local farm market about ordering them for the wedding.

Not only will our guests enjoy them, this fits perfectly with our rustic, fall wedding!

Rustic Decor

Now that I've decided on a theme and centerpieces, I've been full of ideas for the reception decor. Our reception venue isn't very rustic, so I'd like to bring in some decor that will accentuate the look and feel of rustic elegance.

I fell in love with the idea of using twine and clothes pins to hang photos or escort cards (or perhaps both!)

We can print our programs on natural paper and use plum ribbon to tie them together and bring in the color of the bridesmaids dresses:

These circular slabs of wood create a very natural feel

I like the idea of using wooden frames for tables numbers or using a few wooden frames for photos on the escort card table.

I'm excited to incorporate these different ideas!

Rustic Elegance

In an earlier post, I talked about themes - you can read about it here. I expressed my frustration that choosing a theme felt overwhelming and restricting.

But, as I said in that previous post, I think a theme can emerge in the details. I didn't start out the wedding plan process with a specific theme in mind. Rather, a theme seemed to emerged from the things I like.

The fall season keeps coming into play. I don't exactly have a typical two-color scheme, but rather I love plum for my bridesmaids dresses and like the way the fall colors will really pop against the dresses.

I seem drawn toward rustic, outdoorsy elements like in these pictures:

But we're not having a barn wedding or an outdoor ceremony, and our reception venue isn't exactly rustic.

I've been afraid that I'm trying to pull in an element that isn't really going to work with our venue. But when I started thinking about my gown which is beaded and beautiful, and the plum bridesmaids dresses which have an elegance to them as well, I realized when I pull it all together it's more of a rustic elegance. We don't have to be in a barn to have a rustic wedding. We can bring in those natural elements and tie them together with the pretty plums and candles that have a more elegant feel.

Lantern Centerpieces

It seems every other wedding-related decision I make, I second guess myself. I thought I had decided on the submerged flower with a floating candle centerpieces. But I couldn't stop thinking about these beautiful lanterns I found in the seasonal section of a local store.

I love the brownish/copper color. These are perfect for fall. At about 13 inches tall, they're just the right height for the center of the table without interfering with guests line of vision while seated.

I found some pictures of beautiful lantern centerpieces:

I think the lanterns give a nice rustic, fall feeling and with candles inside the lanterns and votive candles on the tables I can still create a romantic look. We can dress it up with some flowers and/or fall leaves.

The lanterns also come in a larger (19 inch) and smaller (9 inch) sizes that we can use in other areas of the reception hall. Here is a picture of the larger lantern with three candles:

Lantern centerpieces are more in line with the look I am trying to achieve. Now I can incorporate the rustic theme with more fall decorations (more on that to come!)

We booked our Church!

When we started looking for venues for our reception, I started with a very broad range of search parameters. I spent a lot of time and did a LOT of research before I finally narrowed it down to the more realistic options.

So once we (finally) booked our reception you would think I would have taken a better, more direct approach to finding our ceremony site. You would have thought wrong.

Once again, trying to think outside the box, I considered a wide variety of options. I looked at galleries and museums, barns and B&Bs. Most of these options I found to either be outside our budget or not large enough to accommodate our wedding party. I had to rule out an outdoor ceremony simply because the weather at the end of September in Western, New York can be pretty unpredictable - so that ruled out the gazebo at our reception site as an option.

After coming to terms with the fact I wasn't having any luck finding a unique ceremony location with an intimate, cozy feel, I began looking at local churches and non-denominational chapels. Finally, we found something that was just right for us. This church is welcoming and friendly and not to mention beautiful with stained glass windows and rounded wooden doors that will make for an excellent backdrop for photos! It has everything we were looking for.

I'm so happy with our choice and relieved to be able to check this item off the list!

Submerged Flower Centerpieces

My latest wedding project has been deciding on centerpieces for the reception. My mom and I have thrown around several ideas and I've finally come to a decision.

I'm all about romantic lighting and having lots of candles, so candle centerpieces seem like a perfect choice. I came across some great ideas:

I love this look with the submerged orchid.

And I love the staggered look of cylinder vases in different heights.

My mom surprised me by sending me a set of vases with floating candles. I couldn't wait to the light them!

I love the look of these - very romantic and elegant. And they give off a surprising amount of light!

The vases are 6", 7.5" and 10" tall.

The next day I picked up some gemstones from a local craft store to experiment with stones to decorate the bottom of the vase.






I started doing some research online and found some great resources for submerged flower centerpieces. Check out the great information on MochaRoseDesigns.blogspot.com

This suggests that the flowers that work best for submerging are orchids, calla lilies, roses, hydrangeas and tulips.

Once I meet with my florist I will have an idea what type of flower we can submerge. That's next!

Reading: "Union" by Robert Fulgham

Like many brides, I'd like our wedding ceremony to be very personal, intimate, and romantic. Readings are one way to personalize your wedding ceremony and I've been searching beyond the standard wedding poetry, looking for some uncommon readings. As a lover of literature I've been scanning my bookshelf, searching through my books of poetry, and romantic literature.

A friend shared with me a reading I'd never come across in my searching or heard before in a wedding ceremony. It may not be new, but it's new to me! I thought I'd share it here:

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

I'm going to keep this reading in mind!

Centerpieces: High vs Low

I've been looking into possibilities for centerpieces and one thing I've been undecided on is the height. I always thought I'd go with traditional centerpieces, something along the lines of a low floral arrangement or floating candles in a lily bowl. 

I've seen tall centerpieces but often found them to be too dramatic and over-the-top for my taste. (See photo)

But I have also noticed that tall centerpieces add a nice element to the overall look of the room. It draws the eyes upward and adds a certain elegance.

Browsing at a craft store with my mom we paired a tall Eiffel tower vase with a single stem orchid. 

Taking this further, we discussed how we could add stones or beads and lights inside the vase for an added effect. We could set this vase on top of a mirror, then add other table enhancements like votive candles or other decorative lights (more on that later.)

That's when I realized tall centerpieces don't have to be over-the-top, they can be simple and elegant.

I think we have found a compromise in that we may alternate tall centerpieces with low ones. This way we can add the height without being too over-the-top.

Finding the Dress

Ah, the dress. It's what brides-to-be dream of, literally. We dream of how we will look on our special day. Finding the dress is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding process. We spend hours looking at images online, flipping through catalogs filled with dresses trying to find the ONE. I've watched hours of Say Yes to the Dress, watching other brides searching for their perfect dress and anticipating my own wedding dress shopping experience.

For me, it only took an afternoon, one bridal shop and six or seven dresses to find the ONE. I went to a shop with my mom, my sister (MOH) and my aunt expecting to just browse around, try on a few dresses and get a better idea of what I style dresses I liked. I imagined we would need another day and several other shops before purchasing a dress. Boy, was I wrong.

I went to the shop with a few dresses in mind but not thinking I was going to find a dress that day or at that shop. I imagined on my wedding day I'd walk down the aisle in something romantic and elegant and perhaps something conservative, not strapless.

Like this  beautiful Maggie Sottero gown

Or this dress from Allure Bridal

Or this Jim Helm gown I absolutely fell in love with

I tried on dresses with cap sleeves and halter style tops. I tried on lacy gowns that I loved in the pictures I saw. But once I was wearing these gowns that I'd love in the pictures, they just didn’t wow me.

The second dress I tried on was stunning and got rave reviews from my family. But in the back of my mind I was holding out for a different dress waiting for me in the dressing room that I thought was going to be the one. So I tried on a few more, holding out for what I thought was going to be my dream dress and when I finally tried it on…. Cricket, cricket. It wasn’t it. It was a beautiful dress but it wasn’t my dress. 

 

I tried on the second dress again and when the consultant put a veil on me, I cried. It was the one. It was exactly how I wanted to look on my wedding day.

My aunt asked me if I wanted to keep trying on more dresses and I said, “…only if they look like this one…” That was it – I was done.

And guess what ... it's strapless!

The Thing About Themes...

Like many brides, shortly after getting engaged, I was on the internet checking out wedding websites and scouring the shelves for bridal magazines.

A personal favorite of mine is TheKnot.com which has just about every resource you could ever want, including a Wedding Day Countdown (423 days!) and provides hours of entertainment looking at “Real Weddings”

As I looked at the photos of all these beautiful weddings, a theme emerged: themes. There was a theme of wedding themes.

There were beach weddings, green weddings (not just the color but the eco-friendly kind) there were Caribbean weddings and Tuscan weddings… 

And each wedding theme had details that so perfectly tied the theme together, from the unique color palette down to the hand-crafted favors and escort cards…. I started feeling the pressure to pick a theme for our wedding.

Did I want a vintage wedding or something more modern? I felt restricted by the idea of a theme, and tying everything together.

An engaged friend of mine was panicked about her ceremony location changing her theme. She originally wanted a beach wedding but was already having nightmares about inclement weather ruining the moment. She found a beautifully winery but thought she would have to change her beach themed wedding if they had the ceremony at a winery.

That’s when I began to realize how complicated themes can be.

But the magic is in the details. Pick the details you like first, and a “theme” may emerge.

I can’t decided on a traditional, two-color scheme because while I like the idea of plum colored bridesmaid dresses I can’t seem to choose a second coordinating color that I like.

I know I like fall flowers but don’t necessarily want the bright reds, oranges and yellows. 

Then I came across bouquets like this:

Fall colors yet more muted, more rustic.

I fell in love with these calla lillies

And then I found myself using that word, rustic. Is it our theme? Maybe, maybe not. (Our reception location certainly isn’t rustic…)

But I have a detail, and that’s where the fun begins!

The Hardest Decisions Come First Part 2: The Venue

Aside from choosing what time of year you want to get married and setting a date, another big decision that comes early in the planning process is where to have your ceremony and reception.

There are so many choices. It’s not just a matter of picking a venue that works for your budget and accommodates the size of your wedding as well as your taste. The venue sets the whole tone for the wedding – it’s all about picking the right atmosphere.

I was all about being “different.”

I wanted a rooftop wedding overlooking the city...

 
…Or a rustic wedding with a country feel
appealing to our laid back nature as a couple...

...And I just LOVED the thought of having a sit-down dinner at an aquarium with exotic fish swimming around us, dancing in the blue glow of the water.

I wanted to stay away from the traditional hotel and country club venues that so many couples choose.

I did a LOT of research – perhaps too much as it became very overwhelming after a while. But as I started my research, I was having difficulty finding what I was looking for (locally).

I was so hung up on being "different" I was looking at options that were just impractical, trying to go out of my way to have a wedding that was unique.

We haven't (officially) picked our venue yet, but I'm certain now that we won't be having our reception inside a museum or an aquarium or on top of a high-rise building.

But in the end, I've realized the wedding day isn't about the venue, or the theme, or the decor, or even the meal. It's about having your family and friends together to celebrate your marriage and it's about having FUN! It's all about the experience and creating memories. Ultimately, it’s what you make of it!

The Hardest Decisions Come First Part 1: Setting the Date

When the excitement of getting engaged dies down and the planning begins, some of the first wedding planning decisions engaged couples have to make are the wedding date and venue. I had no idea these would be two of the biggest wedding decisions we would have to make!

For our wedding date, my preferences were all over the map. My fiancé proposed just before Christmas 2010 and I was convinced we could pull off the planning in time for a 2011 wedding. We’ve already been together seven years – I didn’t want to wait! 

But immediately I felt the pressure of planning and saving for a wedding in less than a year. We’ve already been engaged six months and the time has flown by – looking back I’m glad we decided on a 2012 wedding!

I was also in love with the idea of a winter wedding. Note, I live in Western, NY which is known for having some pretty brutal winter weather… 

But I loved the idea of strings of white lights.... 

...a rustic room decorated with pine cones...

...and giving personalized tree ornaments as favors.

I thought how fun it would be if my fiancé and I with our bridal party put on our winter boots and trudged through the snow for outdoor photos...

I imagined I could wear a white fur wrap with my dress and the bridesmaid would wear shawls...

We could have “winter wonderland” photos with a horse drawn sleigh and everything would be beautiful.

But, of course, there was the issue of the weather.

What if there was a storm that made traveling difficult for our guests? Even if the only distance they had to travel was from their homes to the venue within the same town – blustery winter weather can make traveling even short distances treacherous! 

And then there’s always the possibility of a thaw. If all the snow melted leaving behind dead grass, piles of slush and puddles of mud - so much for the winter wonderland. 

So my fiancé suggested a September wedding – we might still get the warm summer weather along with the beautiful landscape of the start of fall with changing leaves. 

When we decided on September 2012, I immediately felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. It would give us time to save some money and would eliminate some of our stress.

In the end it was the right decision but it wasn't exactly easy to come by!

When it comes to wedding planning, how soon is too soon?

After six years together, my boyfriend proposed two days before Christmas.

We spent the next several weeks sharing the news (and showing off the ring!) I felt truly blessed by all the warmth and well wishes from our family and friends who threw us a surprise engagement party a few months later. 

I realized what a magical time it is to be an engaged couple and to finally get to call him my fiancé.

We celebrated that newly engaged feeling, holding on to that special moment and avoided diving right in to wedding plans. 

We’ve now officially been engaged for six months and we still haven’t booked a venue for our September 2012 wedding…  

Yet we have friends who were engaged only a week ago who are already talking dates and visiting venues.

So when it comes to wedding planning, how soon is too soon?

There are dozens of details to be figured out which is why most brides spend a year or more planning their weddings. So I thought we were ahead of the game when we started looking at venues nearly a year and a half in advance. But as I started doing my research (lots and lots of research…) I learned things were booking quickly and that’s when the pressure started to build.

Would I feel less stressed if we had started our planning sooner? Possibly. But I also wanted to enjoy a period of just being engaged without letting the stress of planning consume 18 months of our lives. 

Now the joy and stress of wedding planning will now only consume the next 15 months of our lives….

Planning a wedding is going to have its stressful moments. No matter how soon you start planning just don't forget to take time and enjoy the process!

This isn't one of those blogs...

There are plenty of wedding websites out there. There are blogs with DIY projects, To Do lists, and helpful hints for budget brides... this isn't one of those blogs.

Though I may turn into a Wedding Planning Pro by the time I'm done planning our own wedding, don't come here seeking advice - I'm just figuring it out as we go along! You may pick up some words of wisdom here or there but don't count on it.

This is just a blog about that special, yet stressful (and short-lived!) time of being a bride. So enjoy!